When it was time for the goodbye… I turned away from him.. I had been with boys before.. But preparing to part wasn’t ever this difficult..

I told myself I have to do this now.. Or it is going to be impossible

I looked at him.. And said I am going..

He said “Fine..” and raised his hand for a simple handshake.. That was the first time I noticed his strong muscled hands.. I brought up mine to complete the gesture.. He was wearing his beautiful smile again.. My hands seemed small but comfortable in his.. Those last seconds of my fingers lingering into his are so clear even now.. that I want to cry.. We said “Bye” and took our separate strides…

And that probably was my hardest good bye ever

I don’t know what he felt that day.. But he had breathed some life in me again.. I felt alive and beautiful again.. Though even a second without him seems impossible..

He laughs just like a kid.. But just as his name.. He is nothing less than a God to me

I don’t know what he wants from me.. Is he just seeing me as a friend.. Or can he put me in a better place..? Whatever it is.. I am glad.. That atleast he was happy with me.. That must count for something.. right ?