I fought for the friendship.. strived for its revival..

talked..texted and was still ignored..

I knew he needed me..I knew he was sensitive

knew he could be manipulated..knew his purity was fragile..

But after a certain point..u just need to stop being a good friend and wish Farewell

and amongst all this.. amongst being a good friend..

I completely forgot that he was supposed to be my friend too..

that he was supposed to care..

he said he loved me..more than once..

but now I can easily say that my friendship was much stronger than his love..

He failed all he said.. just because I did not feel the same

He failed his friendship and most importantly..his true self

I know it was difficult.. but he wasn’t the only one who felt like it…

he wasn’t the only one who lived like it..

I lost a friend.. in the pretense of a heartbreak.. 

and the love won once again..killing the soul of our high faith

Only the best is still left with me..cause the worst was shaken away by fear

Only the worst still hefts me.. cause the best wasn’t meant to be here 

Only the words still blind me.. cause the silence did make it all clear

Only the smiles still remind me..cause the cries were mirrors to despair

Only the memory still calls me.. cause the reality was away from my lair

Only the worries still haunt me.. cause the mind never wanted me there

The good memories left of u.. are the foot stones of my future..

The bad memories u left me with.. are the lessons to my nature..

The ignorance we pretend to be in.. are the pillars of our life 

The significance we lost then.. are ushering again a new high

This flight will be higher.. even if the last fall was hard

This time will be lighter.. even if the past haul was marred

Transformation and not mere governance is the need of the hour..

Development and not mere sustenance is the aspiration of the masses..

Growth and not mere status is the requirement of people..

Changes can be harsh.. if the history was brutal..

but those living in history can never be a future..

those accepting their condition.. can never achieve..

and this country is made by achievers.. developers

Some of us might be hesitant to changes..

but the ones changing.. are running this planet

Evolution is the drug.. Radicalism is the call..  

what else is needed..? a change.. that’s all.

I get so jealous of those who know how to throw old pieces and pick new pawns in the game

Break hearts and disappoint everyone to satisfy their broodiness

Giving the same old “that’s who we are” shit

Carving insecurity in every relationship

Running behind imagination mortifying reality

I wish I was that free… to kill expectations… to live in my la la land… avoid the hurt in those eyes… count all those I broke… breathe and suck life out of them..

No I’ll always be weak… yeah never denying my weaknesses… saving them even when I shouldn’t… love them even when they truly ever couldn’t

They’ll be better… step on me like stairs

But when you are done with it… you’ll have only broken pieces around… while I’ll grow strong and beautiful with each mark that you leave… I’ll always be needed…

Not you… and if you are, they are in it to be dead just again… and you are in it to be bored yet again

I search in deep the person they see in me..Am I what they think I am or just another actor..

faking expressions..friendships..loyalties..

faking the confidence..stature..priorities..

am I really the person who could be loved, liked or hated..or are they better than me at the display and I see what they want me to see..when they are

faking promises..affection..responsibilities..

taking my time..trust..proclivity..

my heart tells me to speak..loud what I am..what I was..and what I’ll be..the actor tells me to stop being me..and be a product of desire.. cause I won’t be liked.. I can’t be liked.. not by the people here..who want what they don’t speak out loud..they don’t accept what they really want.. How I know this..? I am a part of them.. a part which wants something it can’t stand up for..afraid of how they’ll react..

They’ll say I’m mad.. but I’m just a wanna be.. waiting for the real affection and sensitivity..waiting to again share a part of me..

I am waiting to be wrong again..to be lost again..the actor won’t permit though..and since everything is about the mask we wear and not the real face..about how beautifully we hide in those duplicate layers..I won’t be getting close to my real self anytime soon..

I’ll be good at what they want from me..I’ll be generous..I’ll be kind..I’ll be a piece of hatred for some to my best..hiding my craving for acknowledgement..I’ll be the target..I’ll be the reason..for their rise..happiness..hurt..I’ll play my role.

They’ll say this expression doesn’t deserves to be out there..and I’ll be judged..but it will be presented..cause for this very moment..the actor will be defeated.

Maybe there is white..but the black is dominating,

Maybe there is light..but the dark is illuminating.

Maybe there is spite..but the Starks are rejuvenating,

and when they unite..the North will be celebrating.

Maybe there is soul..but the death is originating,

Maybe there is hole..but the deficient is formulating.

Maybe there is abuse..but her purity is propagating,

and when he improves..the crows will be intimidating.

I say :

“Through ice and fire he shall rule..

  Rise from the dead and the blood pool.

  Ride a dragon, be an heir..

  Take the thrones to heights from despair.”

          A dream is it.. cause the truth is far..

          only the brother can tell.. if its peace or war.

          A girl is it.. or a many faced kite,

          lost faces of love..hate..and now no one in sight.

They say a thing of beauty is a joy forever..

but never understand what beauty is.. She is beautiful to him today..but might not stay tomorrow.. He is charming today.. But not quite tomorrow. What they really mean is what feels beautiful today.. will stay beautiful forever..not in the looks kind of sense but in the sense of that feeling..the feeling mixed with love..affection..respect..trust..and something more..something no one, but only they will understand..That feeling.. which they’d loved always..and just wait for someone to resonate it..That feeling..which we search everywhere is actually in us.. but we are just waiting for a frequency to match to make a sound loud enough for the audience to hear..

and when that happens..we say we are in love..we are actually in love with the loud sound..the frequency..which we hear in our minds..in a presence..a presence strong enough to deviate us from our conventional paths..when material pleasures fade..and mind(also referred as heart) plays its role..

that feeling..that love..that beauty..is a joy forever

When the world is light.. and the dreams are heavy

when the people in sight are lost and they envy

When the heart is strong and the head is weak

when the worries of wrong are buried in deep

When the soul is open and the eyes are closed

when your oath is broken by the step you chose

When the touch isn’t far and the guilt isn’t near

when you have a car and I have a beer

That would be the destiny..

that would be the love..

that would be the song.. I’ll never give up

That would be the friend..

 that would be the cause..

yes that would be the presence I’ll always crave for.

The Green ocean of those eyes.. which never hesitated to flow like a river

The ease with which he played them all.. the father, the sister and the lover

The face in which she saw her soul.. the face in which she knew her life

Was never true.. or even if it was.. just to make her stay.. by his side

The hair which was both gold and black.. The skin which was both soft and hard

Tricked their minds.. and their hearts.. to let down their defensive guard

The face of trust.. the face of pain..

the face which they carry in every stain

the face of hate.. the face of love..

the memory of loss.. no one could ever shove

The face she searched.. in the faces of life

and in the being.. where it was supposed to reside

But the face was gone.. as it was never there..

she loved a face.. a fake.. a slayer 

Being a girl u’ll always b hurt.. she said.. Being a girl u’ll never b free

Being a girl u’ll always lie.. she said.. But a girl is something worth to be

Being a girl u’ll always fall.. she said.. in the arms of right kind of wrong

Being a girl u’ll never learn.. she said.. even when the death might sing a song

Now I look at her with admiration.. guilt of all those years wasted..

When each time I woke up.. Believing to be more than just a girl

My mother always knew where would I land up even when I wanted otherwise…

Now I might add that I was no different.. than a typical girl with high pride